What would make You feel “Better”?
Is there a feeling you are looking for?
There is a bit of a back and forth. Once we get (more) focused on what we want. As part of the “awakening” process, you start paying more attention to your thoughts and feelings. You start to discern what you prefer, and what you don’t prefer. You start to “mind.” You start to pay attention to how you feel, doing those things that, perhaps, you have always done.
To discover our subconscious habits that we have instilled in ourselves, we need to stretch ourselves. If we always avoid bad feelings, we are actually accumulating the karmic energy behind them. If we don’t ever get to the point of actually feeling them, they are taking more of a proverbial hold on us. It isn’t like we have to feel our bad feeling all the time, like it is some kind of price or toll to pay to live. But rather, a dismantling of our posturing with bad feelings. For anything that we posture with, we create more karma. Posturing, in and of itself, is technically a standing wave of consciousness. In other words, when we posture with anything, we “declare” that we prefer this feeling, and thus we will “keep our feelings here” and avoid the shadow side of this preferred feeling. Sure, it might seem like you are creating the life that you want, but to have feelings come up, and to have you avoid them, is to accumulate their energy in your subconscious. That will never get you to emotional freedom. But rather, a more and more intense, and yet still subconscious, emotional posturing.
There is the notion that your ability to feel the good stuff, like joy, happiness, excitement, and love and such … is, perhaps, also related to your ability to feel the more challenging stuff. Grief, shame, guilt, remorse, anger and such. The trick is to allow the feelings. You, as you evolve your consciousness, will move out of the “negative” emotions once you learn how to honor them. Your emotions are an impersonal reflection of your thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes. A reflection has no substance of its own, but rather, it is an effect of what caused the reflection. In other words, the image you see in the mirror, is not the mirror. Likewise, your emotions are a reflection of you. As you change, so do the emotions that are reflected back to you. The tough emotions are not a lifetime sentence. You are never stuck. You can always change your reflection. You can always change your emotional re-flection.
How do you do this?
Well, maybe … but really … let’s look at an example (taken from the Personal Power Fundamentals workbook, currently being revised).
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Imagine that you have grown up in a very dysfunctional household. Your Soul chose this dynamic for you to experience the full range of a particular emotion. Perhaps in this case the key emotion for you to explore was self-worth. By choosing a family dynamic that was, perhaps, just the opposite, where there was no value put on self-worth of any kind, you never learned to value who you were. In your family of origin, there was no love, encouragement or support of any kind. Perhaps there was constant fighting, and bickering and such, that kept everyone involved always on the defensive. You were emotionally attacked with arguments and demoralizing yelling and screaming. You felt like you had to stay aggressive just to hold your ground. There was no room for personal appreciation. Perhaps the parents were alcoholics or had some other addiction. Maybe even domestic violence was common. This early imprinting would not have given you much of a sense of self-worth. Your natural gifts and talents were never valued or appreciated.
Fast-forward into the imaginary future several years, and imagine you are now attending college. You are out of the family dynamic and living in a dorm on the college campus. This time on your own has given you a chance to relax a little and let your guard down a bit. You have made some friends and life is feeling a little better. There is a student talent contest and your friends are pushing you to enter. For yourself, you are not at all used to drawing attention to yourself. In fact, that was a very risky, or even dangerous, thing to do for most of your upbringing. You would avoid showcasing anything about yourself for fear of drawing an abusive outcome. In fact, it can seem even unnerving or frightful. You have the emotional response of feeling threatened, uncomfortable, or even afraid. If attention came your way in your family, it usually ended badly. Yet, your new college friends keep pushing you, and now perhaps even more emotions are stirred up and your feelings of anger come into play. Angry that you are feeling pushed or forced into doing something you would have never chosen on your own. The root of these feeling are coming from your upbringing. Where your thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes were formed that had you avoid such things.
If you were to imagine this same experience, but with a completely different family dynamic (upbringing), the emotions this experience would generate would be completely different. With different mental patterns and habits that a different upbringing would anchor in our minds, the natural response to a very similar experience can reveal the mental habits and beliefs going into an experience thath would determine the emotions that would result from it. Keep in mind that we have this rather static mental and emotional “persona within us.” This persona was literally grown within the mental and emotional mindset of our family of origin.
Imagine you grew up in a happy, vibrant household where, perhaps, music was a core value. The family members would play their musical instruments together and laugh and have a good time. It was encouraged to “take the lead” and jam out a passionate expression of your musical capabilities. It was all lighthearted and it never mattered if you made a mistake. It felt fun to take center stage and play your heart out.
Now, the very same opportunity shows up, entering yourself in a student talent contest, but this time, since your upbringing has imprinted a completely different perspective, imprinted in your established mental patterning, you get excited and happy. In both cases, the emotional responses (reflections) are entirely impersonal. In other words, whatever you are feeling in the moment you enter into an emotional event, is a natural response mechanism. Your emotions are showing you to yourself. Your emotions are created by how you see yourself in relationship to what is happening.
As we heal our seemingly “negative” emotions by healing our thoughts, attitudes and beliefs, we shift ourselves into a whole new level of emotional experiences. Eventually, over time, we can anchor a sense of self-love and appreciation for ourselves. We can evolve ourselves out of constant “negative” emotional experiences to where we are having mostly very positive emotional experiences.
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As we evolve our own consciousness, we are entering a much easier terrain of living. It was the journey itself that gave our Souls the experiences of learning particular emotional skills that made them choose our original family dynamics.
To heal the accumulated emotional energy that you don’t prefer, start allowing yourself to feel it whenever it comes up. Give yourself permission to feel “bad.” You can never evolve past it by avoiding it.
Once you get all of your emotional energy resolved, you feel better about what would have made you feel bad.
Life is a beautiful thing … when you can be fully present to it.