Thoughts, feeling and beliefs are an inside job

So often we can think that we are responsible for how others think, feel and believe. But those attributes come from the inside of each of us. Others have no domain in those arenas. Thoughts, feelings and beliefs are all an inside job.

When I ask people who are engaged to be married if they are excited about it, one of the more common responses I often hear is, “They make me so happy.” Some attribute of their partner elicits a feeling of happiness within them. So what happens if that partner finds some dark inner feelings that they haven’t processed, and spends several weeks processing and healing that inner pain? Where does that happiness go?

To be able to be real and authentic is to own your own feelings, period. In order to truly integrate and thus heal your past, you need to master all of your feelings. Emotional mastery comes from allowing your feelings to come forth and be experienced. We are all human beings who are coming to terms with some strong feelings from our own past. To approach that from a higher ground is to allow all of our feelings to have a space in which to be felt. For if we suppress our feelings, they will return back into our lives. To truly own our feelings is to allow our own feelings. All of them.

Happiness is a good thing for sure. However, to hold somebody else responsible for that feeling is, quite frankly, just plain insanity! Happiness is a feeling. And please, don’t get me wrong … it is fine to feel happy about being with somebody, though what I’m referring to actually has to do with a much bigger picture.

Happiness that lasts comes from understanding who you really are, the gifts you have to share, and the actions you take to bring your dreams into creation, all of which create such a feeling of happiness that fills your cup to the brim, from the inside out. That kind of happiness forms in a relationship where both parties comes to the table with their own cup brimming with joy and happiness from within themselves. When the happiness comes from the inside, then the other person is off the hook as far as trying to be the keeper of how the other person feels. There isn’t an emptiness that seeks to be filled by another. There isn’t a co-dependency to the relationship. Take the time to understand just how wonderful you are, just as you are right now. A powerful Soul incarnated in your own body. Love You!

The more conditions you put on your happiness, the less of it you have.

Love and Light,



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