It gets easier, once you start doing the work.
Coming out of the Dark.
What’s this “Dark” I speak of? It’s your karma.
Karma, as a human experience, is not personal. At all. All of your suffering and challenges are not personal. There are billions of people going through the same types of experiences. Sure, yours are unique because your own karmic accumulation is unique. Impersonal and yet unique.
Karma itself is pretty cool. I would even say karma is graceful and elegant, in that whatever you reject or posture with, is stored in your subconscious. Like a running total of sorts. What is actually your karma, was decided by … you. Maybe not consciously in the moment. But it was you that determined what your karmic composition would be. Just as I, as a child, instilled an avoidance behavior of feeling my anger. Everything I was avoiding was pushed, so to speak, into my subconscious. Decades later, it was there, karmically influencing my everyday experiences. Even though I was unaware of it, my behavior from my past was influencing my experience(s) in the moment. If I had continued to avoid my feelings, my karma would have gotten more intense.
In other words, had I not connected and released a lot of my anger, I would still have it in my psyche, and it would be growing more intense as I accumulated more of it by (still) avoiding it. I would probably be much worse off now, had I not started doing the work. I know my body would be much more sick. I might have contracted a dis-ease from it by now. I know I was starting to get ulcers right before I finally started doing the work and releasing my pent-up emotions. The ulcers vanished right after I started releasing my karma.
In the past, if I got triggered emotionally, I might be emotionally upset for many hours or days before I would be able to calm myself back down. I would avoid situations that might stir me up. My world was getting smaller in a way. Relationships were more difficult. My energy levels were tanking day by day. And then I got cracked open. I (finally) connected with my pent-up emotions and let out a lot of karmic energy from my subconscious. This was the transition point of my life, really.
We, as souls, set ourselves up by choosing our parents. Before we incarnated into this lifetime, our soul looked at potential life dynamics and chose a household that had the “right” elements to it. These elements could be very intense and challenging situations, such as domestic violence or psychological dysfunctional dynamics. As children, we don’t have the mental and emotional tools to navigate such situations. And we posture to keep ourselves safe. What else could we do? That is where I learned to suppress my anger, in a household dynamic that my soul chose. I didn’t see the reason for this until much later in my adult life.
Whatever you are challenged with, you chose at some level. We all do. Again, none of this is personal. Once we start doing the work, we start to rise out of the struggles and challenges. And our life gets easier.
Do the work. Set yourself (karmically) free.
Love You
Les
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