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Our Family Dynamics

Ah, the holidays! Where we immerse ourselves in the dynamics of our family. For some, the holidays are a fun and delightful time of the year. Yet for others, the holidays can bring a sense of drudgery and discomfort. But either way, the holidays can give us a deeper insight as to the types of imprinting in which we were raised. Our family of origin holds the core programming of our own psyche.

When we want to transcend our karma, the imprinting of our family is a great place to start. There are some core aspects of what a family can imprint on a young mind. For example, our values. What was valued in your family of origin? What aspects of yourself were weighed with favor and acceptance? For myself, it was being a “righteous” member of our religion. To be seen as one who is following “the word”. I’m not sure if that really has any value at this point in my life. But during my upbringing, it was paramount. So what was valued in YOUR family? Perhaps it was being frugal. Or being good in school. Or perhaps carrying yourself with proper conduct in public. Every family dynamic has core values that are instilled in each member. But years later, those values can still be in effect.

Then there is the darker side of the family. Those feelings and emotions that were labeled taboo. Feelings and emotions that were avoided at all cost. We tend to posture with our shadow feelings and emotions, avoiding outright confrontation of them. This can be the motivation of alcohol during the holidays to suppress the thoughts, feelings and emotions that bring up painful memories in our psyche. Although my family never had alcohol in the dynamic, there was an anger present that lurked just under the surface. Basically from my father. When his anger was aroused, you couldn’t make yourself small enough. Like walking on egg shells.

Our emotions are just messengers. They only have a message for us. Showing us how we see ourselves in the moment. We tend to get in trouble with them when we develop habits of avoiding them. And this is the basis of how our own family dynamics show up in our adult lives. We are healthy when we can openly feel any emotion in the moment. And then if we have unresolved emotions lurking in our own subconscious, we tend to posture with the people and situations outside of us in order to avoid having our own subconscious feelings well up inside of us. This is the crux of karma.

When you spend time visiting family this holiday season, stay aware of how you are feeling. Pay attention to your emotions. And watch others as they are feeling their emotions. Watch how emotions and feelings are handled. This can give you insights into the skills, or lack of skills, in the emotional arena of your family dynamics. In the end, all emotions only want to be felt and released. When you can stay present in the feelings, you are cleansing your emotional imprinting. Moving toward emotional freedom.

Pay attention to the gifts of awareness that this holiday season can provide!

Happy Holidays to You and your family!

I, for one, Love You … just the way you are!

Love and Light,

Les

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